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MBedd Toys 3

MBored Posted on Fri, April 04, 2014 10:35:10

Click to see Big Version

Health News

MBored Posted on Fri, April 04, 2014 10:30:29

Prime Minister James Cameron has
introduced new plans to improve the recent legislation of plain
branding, complete with zombiesque imagery health warnings for cigarette
‘The problem is’, said Mr. Cameron tugging on
a Cohiba Behike cigar,’ the children of today, are going to get
confused by all this ghoulish representation of the effects of smoking.
They will look at their grandfather who has been puffing away on 60 a
day all his life, and even though the wretch is wheezing and producing
large quantities of phlegm, stinking even more than poor people usually
do, they will see a discrepancy in the image portrayed on the packs and
what they see before them.’

‘Therefore,’ he continued, ‘we are
enforcing a law that will see the introduction of more toxic ingredients
and fatally damaging substances used in the production of the
cigarettes themselves. Hopefully this will accelerate the tumours and
teeth distortions for the smoker and match the artwork. The effects of
their irresponsible behaviour and the dangers will be seen by the
younger generation immediately.’

That man in charge of the Labour government was quick to raise concerns, proposing a better alternative.
‘The kids today are all about the Facebooks and Twitters, we propose a
scheme where each cigarette packet has a built-in camera that utilises
face capture technology. When a packet is bought by a child, their young
face is scanned, digitally aged with all boils and mangy bits. then
simultaneously displayed on the packet’s LCD screen underneath the
current health warning slogan ‘This is you in 30 years time – major
fails’, as well as posted up on their Facebook time-line where their
Mums can see it. Costing the tax payer a mere £20,000 per packet to
develop, I’m sure the general public would approve of these measures if
it keeps our children safe.

MBedd Toys Two

MBored Posted on Thu, March 13, 2014 16:42:08

Keeping the theme going…

Large version here

MBedd Toys

MBored Posted on Tue, March 11, 2014 10:14:58

I have decided to go in a new direction with
the business again.

Having being inspired and delighted by the new range
of Asian counterfeit toys doing the round at the moment, MBedd is
bringing out its own range of counterfeit counterfeit toys – exploiting
the ironic demand of shoddy toy collectors everywhere.

These quality
items will be available from the website in time for

Full size version can be seen by clicking here.

Not Another Star Wars Parody

MBored Posted on Thu, February 27, 2014 10:11:38


MBored Posted on Wed, February 26, 2014 14:50:44

England has had it’s fair share of bad news
already this year, terrible floods, the government continuing to kill
off the lower classes, but that’s nothing compared to the shock
revelation that Piers Morgan has been sacked from CNN.

Mbedd would
like to start an emergency petition just in case the sleazy, corrupt,
phone hacking, vomit inducing, arrogant bile spouter comes back to the
UK and starts infesting our our fair shores.

Do what you have to do.
Write a letter to the Queen or your local MP. Inform the NRA that he’s
coming ’round to confiscate their guns and that they had better get to
him first, or simply shout out of your window “GO AWAY MORGAN” every 10

People of Britain, do what you can.

Infamous 2009 Royal Variety Performances 1

MBored Posted on Sun, February 16, 2014 16:50:24

Here’s Johnny Depp’s ill-advised appearance at the now infamous 2009 Royal Variety Performance.

Booked to do a quick link and introduce the Pilobolus Dancers, he seemed to drop a hint about his new Tim Burton movie ‘Homepride’ based on the bowler hatted characters from the flour adverts. That’s when the Queen became vocal.

“How dare you” she thundered. “This isn’t the forum to be hawking your cheap shoddy wears! And another thing…Don’t you make films without a …British Accent these days? I’m the Queen and I’m in charge of English words, and I say it’s a travesty that your kind is shamelessly mangling my dialect. You’re a hair’s breadth away from Dick Van Dyke and it turns my stomach.”

The Queen then ordered her manservant to spit in the direction of the visibly crushed Depp. “And further more – you totally ruined that sketch on The Fast Show” she added. “I’ll tell you what will suit you sir” she quipped, “A beheading!”

Johnny Depp was later executed publically in Fleet Street, 1936.

Infamous 2009 Royal Variety Performances 2

MBored Posted on Sun, February 16, 2014 16:48:54

Here’s Jimmy Carr from the now infamous 2009 Royal Variety Performance.

All was going well for the dead-eyed monotone gag-smith, and Prince Philip was seen to be in rapturous laughter at his jokes about the disabled and ethnic minorities.

Unfortunately the air was turned sour, when his manservant quietly informed him that Mr. Carr’s comedy output was ‘ironic’, and that even though his act seemed to be identical to Jim Davidson’s, he was in fact the host of one of those late night political satire shows on Channel Four.

Obviously disgusted at being made to look a fool by a lefty, he hurled his swan and guinea fowl kebab straight at the honking head of his outrage. Mr. Carr was later beheaded, stuffed and hung proudly on the wall next to a tastefully mounted panda cub head in the Duke’s private collection.

Infamous 2009 Royal Variety Performances 3

MBored Posted on Sun, February 16, 2014 16:47:12

Here’s Joan River’s ill-advised appearance at the now infamous 2009 Royal Variety Performance.

Things weren’t going well from the start, with audible tuts being heard from the Royal Box every time Ms. Rivers reeled out her hackneyed catchphrase. It was only when she told a joke about Gwyneth Paltrow being named the most beautiful this year, because she got Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder to vote, that the Queen broke her silence.

“For God’s sake woman… Can One Talk?” she blasted, “You’ve used that bladdy punch line so many times – you just change the set-up!”

The Queen then rose and stared menacingly at Rivers adding, “Don’t you ever write any new material? 300 years in this business and you have 4 jokes in your repertoire – and three of them are about Cher. I’m the bladdy Queen, this is my show, and I expect you lot to make the effort to entertain me!”

Ms. Rivers was ordered to be beheaded, but after several hours of sawing and chopping, they realised that the level of cosmetic surgery she’d had to reinforce her rotting frame made dismemberment impossible. To this day she remains chained and weighted at the bottom of the River Thames next to Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th Films.

Infamous 2009 Royal Variety Performances 4

MBored Posted on Sun, February 16, 2014 16:45:39

Here’s Noel Fielding’s ill-advised appearance at the now infamous 2009 Royal Variety Performance.

The Queen (who is known to hate all forms of animal whimsy after one of her corgis was hijacked and driven full speed into St. Paul’s Cathedral by a gang of disenfranchised diabetic walruses wearing basques) grew tired of his act quite quickly, bellowing at the stage ‘One does not find your lazy juxtapositioning of wildlife with random foodstuffs amusing, so stick your pepperoni penguins up your Shoreditch arse!’

She then passed a law that made it illegal to give animals surnames in comedy routines, beheaded Fielding with an axe made from cauliflower tears and sprinted off in the direction of Balmoral.

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